license to kill

The past few days, I have been under a dignified cause of defending our house against the infiltration of the stupid, arrogant, world-domineering ants. Ugh, it’s serious; they’re getting on my nerves rather exceptionally. Heavens, they’re everywhere! I wouldn’t have minded it too much if only they had opted to keep their lame a$$es within the walls of the house, but no, the pompous beasts thought it even grandiose to extend their dominion over our FOOD –the food we eat – the food which I fight tooth and nail just to keep clean – the very same ones which these little brutes just stamped on sloppily. Were they nuts? Did they think that my food were some kind of a prairie they could stroll on anytime? The hell. $%^&*($#@

Seriously, I have never felt more murderous in my entire life than I do right now.
I’m currently striving to device ways –creative ways by which I could give the buggers a well-deserved vindictive death. Ant sprays are off the list since they’re not brutal enough. I want the ants to have, as much as possible, a slow agonizing painful death. With ant sprays, it’s an easy swift death – that’s too generous. So nope, not an option. Nevertheless, I’m open for suggestions.

misleading

The trouble with statement shirts is that I can’t seem to stop myself from reading them. Even though it appears embarrassing to stare at one’s chest [it’s curious that the breasts’ area is perpetually the lucky/unlucky bearer of the inscriptions], my eyes will always always automatically wander to the part where the writing is. The worse thing is I’m not even attempting to be discrete about it. Most of the time, I will just stop and gawk openly to this woman’s shirt [or chest, it’s always there –the statement, I mean] and read the characters. If it’s the eyebrow-raising sort then I will impulsively move my gaze to the woman’s face and see if the statement dovetails with her…erm, appearance? state of being? look?

What, each of us is entitled to have our own brief periods of judge-y-ness and evilness =D

Like this particular incident that happened two or three weeks ago. I was inside the mrt on my way to the university when in came a lady wearing a pink shirt that says: [in all caps, bold, shining, shimmering, splendid letters] –HORNY.

HORNY

HORNY

HORNY

Uh-huh. HORNY. I wonder if she knew what that word meant. Or it’s just my naturally perverted thinking that automatically went to the gutter and assumed the green insinuation of the word. Because maybe the lady knew what “horny” was after all; perhaps to her, it’s simply the “state of having many horns”? [horns, horns, horns, horns = horny?] as opposed to what I initially thought to be the “state of being hormonal”. [hormones, hormones, hormones, hormones = horny?] Hahaha. Pragmatics.

For long minutes, I was just there explicitly gaping at her t-shirt [chest] with furrowed eyebrows and vast annoyance to the maker of the shirt, blaming whoever insipid creature he or she was for having that “majestic” idea of putting the statements at breast level. Seriously, he or she should have known that it would be exceedingly disconcerting for a girl like me to stare at another girl’s chest; not that I was perusing her boobs, [I have my own to stare at, thank you very much] it was the statement I was curious about, nothing more. Only the position was sending all the wrong signals. <_<

Ooops on a tuesday

issa: omg, I see Sir XXXX

moi: Wahhh, where?

issa: Turn to your left...left left

moi: Sino siya diyan?

issa: Yung pasakay ng taxi, yung kalbo

moi: Alin yung red yung buhok?

issa: ---


<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

LMAO.

That was a rather perfect dumbass moment. Excuse me for I was feeling a little scatterbrained and cramp-y then.

A sporadic Pentium 1 processing.
Forgive the mortal. =D

ode to jason from jason

Good-day sunlight
and the day begins
bright lights, big city
What's the worst thing that could happen?

I've got the dynamo of volition
do you hear me?
A squirrel in the tree, is he watching me?
"Well, you're magic" he said.

_____________________________________________________

NOTES:

Who needs shelter
10000 motherfuckers
Bright eyes
O. Lover

The dynamo of volition
Lucky
Only human
Song for a friend

"Kung kaya ng iba, kaya ko rin!"

(1) Pesimistikong pananaw

a. “Kung kaya ng iba, hindi ko kaya.”

b. “Kung hindi kaya ng iba, hindi ko rin kaya.”


(2) Walang kumpiyansa

a. “Kung kaya ng iba, kaya ko rin?"

b. “Walang may kaya.”


(3) Juan Tamad

a. “Sila ang may kaya, e di sila ang gumawa.”

b. “Wala akong sinasabing kaya ko ha.”


(4) Presko

a. “Hindi kaya ng iba, ako lang ang may kaya!”

b. “Kaya ko kahit hindi kaya ng iba.”


(5) Rich kid

a. “Kung kaya ng iba, kaya rin ni yaya!”

b. “What is ‘kaya’ anyway? Please translate.”


(6) Randy Jackson

a. “Yo, dawg, dude, man”

b. “whaddup, whaddup”


(7) Sex-crazed

a. *moans*

b. *censored*


(8) Matandang ulyanin

a. “Ha? Ano ika mo? Bakya at timba?”

b. “Mamaya mo na ako tanungin, iha, at pakihilot nga muna ireng likod ko.”


(9) Nora Aunor

a. “Walang himala kung kaya ng iba!”

b. “Walang himala kung kaya ko!”


(10) PGMA

a. “Kung hindi natin kaya, para saan pa at andiyan si George Bush, classmate.”

b. “Kung kaya ng iba, kaya ko rin!” [mangurakot]


(11) Desperate Housewives

a. "Hindi yan kaya ng 'some med school in the Philippines.'"

b. "Kung kaya ng iba, kaya rin naming magpasikat ng racial slur."


(12) Nang-aakit

a. "Hanggang diyan lang ba ang kaya mo?"

b. "Kung tatanggalin ko ba to, tatanggalin mo rin ang sa'yo?"

either way

stairs
going down
and down and
down and down
until - rock bottom


stairs going up and up
and up and up and
up and up and up
back to rock
bottom

stairs
going down
and down and
down and down
until - rock bottom

stairs going up and up
and up and up and
up and up and up
back to rock
bottom


stairs
going down
and down and
down and down
until - rock bottom

stairs going up and up
and up and up and
up and up and up
back to rock
bottom

stairs going up and up
and up and up and
up and up and up
back to rock
bottom

stairs
going down
and down and
down and down
until - rock bottom

deliriously happy

You would think that college students, juniors at that, under normal circumstances would have no business playing 'patintero' as if wild, all hell broke loose kids. College means thesis...salient time...extensive studies...demanding life. It's supposed to be the preparatory ground for one's career path, hence it is ought to be taken seriously.

But no. My friends and I begged to differ, if only for a few hours.

During those strangest, most demented hours, we were kindergartens again with no care in the world other than each of our own personal gladness. Forget about decorum, we were cheering, yelling and running down the hallways of the Faculty Center like the excessively energized little devils fresh from Pandora's box (yes, you heard it right -Faculty Center where the most professional, honorable doctorate holders and higher ups reside.)

As if that wasn't enough, we even fled out of the building straight to the gardens where we could have more space and more liberty. It was a particularly happy, sunny day; just about the perfect time to play this much-missed game of 'patintero' that we haven't gotten around to playing since high school. Ah, it was so much fun. People walking past our direction were looking, whispering, some were possibly even laughing, but at least they had the decency to let us be.








I'm in no place to deny the recklessness of our act as it was, without question, downright crazy and undeniably impetuous of us to have done such a childish play in the most improbable time and place.

But then again, this experience came along with the realization that from time to time, it is when we're at our craziest that we're likewise at our happiest.

gullible

alvin: Wala daw sa dictionaries ang word na 'gullible.'

moi: Ows?

alvin: (dead air)

moi: HAHAHAHA. Okay, gets.

surprise, surprise, surprise

Just when I have finally accepted the depressing fact that I would miss the Oblation run this year, enter my professor (BLESS HER!) who generously gave us the time to witness the thrill of the streaking =p

-----------


prof: Sino sa inyo ang hindi pa nakakapanood ng Oblation run?

class: (maraming nagtaas ng kamay -kasama ako, LIARS! tsk tsk)

prof: Ano?! Hindi pa kayo nakakapanood kahit kelan?!

class: not yet...

prof: Sige ididissmiss ko kayo ng 11:45 pero dapat bumalik kayo ng 12:15. Go ahead, manood kayo para naman may maikwento kayo sa mga apo niyo.


-----------

HAHAHAHA. RakEnRol. Didn't see that one coming. =D Astiiiig.

wth am I talking about

Wow, I can’t believe I’m back. *waves waves waves like a beauty queen* thank you, thank you, thank you.

I haven’t been posting here since the fifth anno domini. I need to invent an elaborate excuse that would justify myself for not showing up this entire time.

Let me try.

I have prepared two ready-made alibis; feel free to choose which is more convenient for ya.

If you’re a sadist and want me miserable, just imagine that I tripped on this stupid rug, hit my head on the bathroom floor, so serious that I actually had an amnesia. I had forgotten my name, my address, my school, and most importantly my blog. Thankfully, it was only meant to be temporary. Just yesterday, I got my memory back. I have finally recalled the URL of this site, hence I’m all the more ready to update again.

That’s the first excuse.

Here's the other option:

If you want the happy-goody story, sort of fairy tale-ish in nature, then, both of us, let's just imagine that I suddenly got lucky, so lucky that I was turned filthy rich in a whim, [even filthier and even richer than Paris, really] For weeks, I had lived the glitz and glamor of Hollywood (I flew there instantly, yes.) where I spent the greater part my time partying, drinking, shopping, taking drugs (hahaha!); one occasion even had me landed in prison for drunk-driving. That was until I had the biggest epiphany of my life. Somehow I realized that I wasn’t happy albeit the lavish lifestyle. Thus, I renounced the “dirty sexy money” a.k.a my out-of-nowhere-gotten wealth, as I made my decision to return home. Back to my good old noble roots –my blog being one of them.

And so, voilà –I’m here again!

Nonsense aside, Christmas break is coming so I should be around more often, I hope. Having said that, I need not to worry about inventing new excuses any time soon; God knows I’d make a terrible fiction writer.