Because she said so

Since it's my sembreak, my mom thought it's best to enroll me in a driving school. According to her, and I quote, "Anak, it's always good to know at saka para naman naman next time ikaw na magda-drive ng sasakyan natin..." Not bad, right? Although, I have my suspicion that that's just her sneaky way of getting rid of my lazy a$$ bumming around the house 24/7. I don't blame her, really. But she could have just come up with an outright, simple, honest statement like, "Ang tamad mo na kasi Annelvie, para naman kahit pano maging productive ang sembreak mo no", and I would understand her just the same.

Nevertheless, she enrolled me and as long as it's an all expenses paid [by her], well then, bring it on.

What I didn't see coming, however, was how much of a nervous wreck I was going to be the moment I took over the steering wheel and off we went to the highways.


Train of thoughts, then:



1. [DANGER: Deep Excavation]

>> "Waah! Why in the hell do they excavate here of all places, pag ako nahulog diyan, shemay naman o!"

2. [May mga baka cow sa kalye, yes meron talaga]

>> "Pootek, bakit ba pakalat kalat lang tong mga bakang to, pag ako nabangga…I swear!"

3. [Mga batang nag-lalaro sa gilid ng kalsada]

>> "Ano ba?! Ayaw ko pang makabangga ng bata…wag kayong tatawid! wag kayong tatawid! wag kayong tatawid, please!"

4. [Toyota Innova sa unahan ko]

>> "What the…bakit pa kasi ang ganda ganda ng sasakyan niya, kapag yan nabangga ko ang mahal ng babayaran KO [well ng nanay ko], wahhhhh"

5. [Matandang nagba-bike, pagewang gewang lang]

>> "Wahh, this manong is soo gonna die a painful death kapag nabangga ko siya…Shit! Shit! Shit!"

6. [Tatlong magkakasunod na ten-wheeler trucks]

>> "Shit naman kasi bakit ba kailangan pang ang laki laki nila, pootakte"

7. [Accident Prone Area]

>> *sign of the cross*

8. [Tumigil yung sasakyan dahil narelease ko yung clutch]

>> "Aww, joke lang po, kuya."

9. [Dahil ayaw kong mag-overtake…]

>> "Kuya, pwede bang dito na lang ako sa likod ng tricycle forever, hindi naman tayo nagmamadali diba???"

10. [Habang nagmamaneho, yung tugtog sa radyo, “Hindi kita malilimutan”]

>> "Leche, diba pam-patay yan? Ano ba yan premonition or what?! I knew it, sino ba naman kasing nagsuggest-suggest pa na mag-driving lessons ako. Awww, paalam, world…"